30 LESSONS I LEARNT FROM MY 20's!!

Hiya Ladies,
Today is my birthday!!! and I am 30 years old!!! 30?!! When did I grow up?!! Oh how humbled I am to be celebrating this age!!! I know many who lost their lives before this age or are alive but having nothing much to live for!!! I am humbled that I am here today!!! I couldn't sleep last night, I restlessly waited till the clock turned 12 midnight and I got so emotional and began to cry!! All I could think of is how grateful I am to be alive and have all that I have and all the things God has seen me through!! God is good you all!!!



Since I'm now an old lady (ahem), let me take the time out to share some 30 valuable lessons and conclusions I have come up to from experiences in my twenties!! Sit back and enjoy!!



Lessons on Faith & Marriage...

1.The word of God is powerful- Have you ever been going through a tough time and just decided to open the bible to read a verse and the verse your eyes drift to speaks directly to the issue you are facing and brings you closure like never before!! The word of God is dependable and it only takes faith for you see it's powerful effects in your life!!

2. Find Christ early- It all depends on your upbringing, as a Christian, the only attribute to my successes in life has been my faith in God!! I found Him early and I have fallen from grace severally but that foundation in Him just pulls me back up each time and I feel restored in Him again!! It's amazing!!

3. Do church for only the right reasons- In Uni, there were all sorts of Church groups and fellowships, there was this particularly popular one that all the ladies were joining, I attended one meeting and instantly knew it was not for me because it was more a social friendship gathering than a God centered gathering!! Ask yourself each time you dress up for church, who am I most excited to meet today? My friends or my God?!!

4. Your actions speak louder than your bible quotes- Don't be deceived, people are watching and know who is just quoting scripture and who is living by it!!

5. The tongue is powerful- In anger we have all said things we wish we could take back...the issue with the tongue like the bible says, it is powerful and when you speak, try to speak positively and when you slip up and speak in anger, make amends quickly with that very tongue and speak positivity over the negativity.

6. Love is not hard- How can it be love if you stay up crying more than laughing, if he does things to hurts you and mocks you for hurting. Love will not suck the joy out of you, it gives you joy even when everything else might be lacking.

7. Don't hurt in silence- Until we as humans possess the ability to mind read, if you have something bothering you, the only way to let the concerned party know is to tell them, don't die in silence.

8. Date early to make mistakes early- mistakes in relationships are bound to happen, why not make them in your forgivable teen years than when you are all grown up!! 

9. Don't over share period!- There is a limit to the information you put out there of your self and family, nobody has to know that you and your hubby love to bite each other's toes (ewwww).

10. Forgive always- there's numerous teachings on this in the bible and by preachers! When you forgive, whose burden are you lifting off the shoulder? Your burden!!

11.Marriage is a conscious team game- Two shall become one in thinking and in doing!! Marriage does not work if you and your spouse choose to go off in different directions...it's a constant conscious effort on both your parts to be in sync and send the right message to everyone especially the kids.

12. Kids will make or break your marriage- Kids are truly a gift from God, they are our responsibilities, our first priorities and watch our every move!! Don't think you will get a kid to fix a broken union, it will make things worse.  

13. Compromise is peace- In marriage and in general, to be at logger heads all the time, arguing and fighting is stressful and uncomfortable. Coming together and meeting half way is always a better option.


14. Steal time away to be close again- Time together, just the two of you is so important and necessary. Share your victories and your fears, your challenges and your strengths, it just allows you to share yourselves.



Lessons on Life, Business, Friendships...

 15.Dream big early- a dream is not your reality, so you can make it as huge and as seemingly unattainable as you want. Do this early in life and you will find that as you grow older, you will have time to reshape your dreams and build on them. Don't live in regret because you failed to dream big enough!!


16. A smile works wonders- When you meet people and the first thing you do is smile, you pull down any walls they might have up and even if they don't smile back, best believe that joy is infectious and you have left them feeling better than before, even slightly.

17. Learning never stops- never ever!! There's an opportunity to learn something every day of your life!!

18. Develop your core- self development is paramount...luckily with the advent of the internet, there is nothing you want to learn about that you cannot look up and learn, the information is out there, go in search of it, find it and own it!!

19. Ideas wait for no one- absolutely no one!!! If it pops in your head, excites you enough to keep you up at night doing your research on it...chase it!!

20. Cliques are limiting- The fact that you would center your sphere of interaction to just a set of people you have always known will box you and all your achievements up!! Looking for a clique? join the Jesus Clique!!


21. Failure is not final defeat- And when you fail like we all have, accept that it is absolutely normal, painful but normal...pick your self up and get back in the ring again!!(easier said than done but do it.)

22. Aspire to Inspire- What is the essence of what you do? Is it just to be known? Loved or famous? or is it to make a difference in a life, to inspire a change and cause a reflection? Ask yourself this any time you put yourself out there.

23. Excuses are annoying, Avoid making too many of them- If you are wrong, own up to it, if you messed up, accept responsibility and effect a change rather than prolong with an excuse!

24.Your friends are not your customers- You have not started a real business if your friends are the only ones who patronize it. Do not expect your friends to even get what you do...they can appreciate it from afar but depending on them for it's functionality will result in disappointment.

25. Your customer is queen- Always!! Her word is the most important and her feed back is invaluable to your business.

26. Accomplishments are sweet- the saying goes, 'who no like better thing!!'. The reward you get for seeing a project from start to finish is one that you cannot quantify!! Accomplishments both big and small make you look back and appreciate your journey!

27. Beauty fades, the upkeep is a hassle- and that is a fact. When your only focus is outward beauty, then prepare for the constant up keep it comes with because you can never be perfect and the quest for perfect beauty is almost unattainable. 




28. Be mindful of your counselor- not every counsel is good counsel, not all counsel comes from a good place even when the counselor is a close relative. Don't hold every advice too close to your heart especially if your heart is telling you other wise. 

29. Jealousy is never productive! When you feel that very familiar feeling of jealousy creep up on you, try your very best (I know it can be hard) to channel it to inspiration, ask yourself what you like/want of the person who you feel jealous towards, weigh the value of what it is and either figure out how to achieve it or discard it if it's of little or no value...you will find that you will make less room for jealousy and start to squash goals you thought were never attainable!!
 

30. Pain is not shame- When people are passing through a hard time, they tend to feel ashamed of the situation forgetting it is for a season and everyone will pass through pain so there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, though in that season of pain, it's hard to explain the feeling away, but trust me, this too shall pass.



My dear friends and blog readers, thanks for being a huge part of my last decade!! I wish for all the blessings I wish myself to follow you also in this new year!!


Thanks for rocking with me!!!

Xxx
Dabs

33 comments:

  1. Awwww!! love! Love!! this post truly inspiring. Happy birthday again!!!

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  2. Happy birthday dear!
    Thanks for sharing your life lessons, you'd achieve more in the next year's.
    Xx

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  3. Happy birthday Dabs;I'm new here .God bless you new age

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  4. Happy birthday Dabs,i wish you the best in all your endeavors,may God cause everyone of your desires to be established,may you always have reasons to rejoice and be thankful in Jesus name. Im a regular visitor to your blog,I probably have never put up a comment,but I had to today.lovely thoughts and lessons from your twenties here. May I add you and Lade inspired me to start a healthy hair journey and the progress I've made is outstanding,thanks for being inspiring. Stay blessed.

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    1. Aww great!!! Thanks so much for the support!!

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  5. Happy birthday Dabs! Although I've been following your blog since 2014, thus is the 1st time I'm commenting. You're an inspiration really, look at all you've accomplished at just 30!
    You've helped me grow my hair from almost armpit length to brastrap length ...and through 2 post party hair shedding.
    May God bless you! Have a joyful celebration!

    Onyi

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    1. Beautiful!!! Wishing you even more growth!! Thank You!!

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  6. Great words of wisdom. Thank you for sharing them.

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  7. Excellent post dear, a lot of wisdom there and lovely photos.

    www.wurassecrethair.blogspot.com

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  8. Happy belated Birthday. God continue to bless and keep you and yours.

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  9. Wow. Happy birthday Dabs. I like this post so much. You are a very wise woman. This is the least you will ever be in Jesus name.

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  10. Congratulations Dabs!!
    You've remained a major source of inspiration for me, regarding my hair, family and just life in general. In the last 2/3 years, you've really inspired me business wise, and I love how proactive you are about so many things.
    I remember the first time I realized you were married and had children, I couldn't believe it. Your\'re gorgeous and there's something extremely youthful about you, and turning 30 isn't going to change any of that, I'm sure.
    You should be incredibly proud of yourself, your business and your beautiful family.
    May God continue bless you and take from grace to even more grace!!

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    1. Awwww THANK YOU!!!God bless you for all the support!!

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  11. Happy Birthday in arrears Dabs. Wishing you fruitful 30s. BTW, you dont look your age

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  12. Happy birthday Dabs! I join you in appreciating God for His grace upon your life. I admire your industriousness and tenacity; you truly are an inspiration. May God continue to work with you in Jesus name(Amen).

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  13. Happy birthday in arrears. I loved reading your post

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  14. This is simply amazing. I truly learnt alot from this write up. I hope more people get to read this and be inspired like I was. Keep it up and your pictures are beautiful. Happy 30th.

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  15. Happy Belated Birthday Dabs!

    I turned 30 in January too! Hehe, we aren't old o, life is just starting :)

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    1. Aww birth year/month mate!!! Happy birthday in arrears dear, hope you had a blast!! The best is yet to come!!

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    2. Amen! I'm not really good at reflecting and internalising, so that's my resolution for the Big 30. My birthday is the 29th. You're just 4 days older....

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  16. Happy Birthday in arrears... You look gorgeous... Thanks for the lessons.

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  17. Happy birthday. Thanks for sharing this. Enjoy your day. You look fab.

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